Burtie Welland

Burtie has been writing all his life ... he started his first book in 1976 (he never finished it!!) However, since retiring from the Metropolitan Police he has used his extensive first hand experience of crime and criminal psychology to write upwards of eighty murder mysteries.

In addition he has been involved in the theatre, both amateur and professional for many years and began writing for the stage around fifteen years ago, first adapting books and screenplays and, more recently, writing original scripts.

To date Burtie has written one (unpublished) novel, six full length plays and three one act plays. All the plays are available for groups to perform (at a very reasonable rate!) He is currently writing another full length play (Waiting For Dorothy), a one-act play (Time To Let Go) and, a new departure, a film screenplay (The Perfumed Air).

All his existing plays (and the ones in progress) are available to perform ... just fill in the form on the contact page or email burtie at burtie@thefoulplayers.co.uk

Existing titles:

JACOB'S LADDER

Lockdown has enabled Burtie to finish his novel, a crime mystery set in 1850s Leeds linking two suspicious deaths, one at the cavalry barracks and the other at the Circus ... now on it's umpteenth revision, and (hopefully) awaiting publication.

THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY

Adapted from the book by Jack Trevor Story and the Alfred Hitchcock film which was based on it. The story of a body that won't go away. Set in the fens in the 1940s, a story of love, innocence and murder.

CLUE

Adapted (with the author's permission!) from the cult film of the same name, the Cluedo board game brought to life with hilarious consequences. Complete with enough murders to rival Midsomer and three different endings to keep audiences guessing.

JACK AND THE BEANSTALK

The traditional panto with all the favourite characters, all the old jokes and more twists and turns than you can shake a stick at.

FAT FACE AND THE WITCH

A one-act comedy play about marital strife and infidelity. Two couples find themselves double booked on a boat on the Norfolk broads. Full of pathos and one liners.

I DO I DO I DO

Another one act comedy following the lives of the characters introduced in 'Fat Face', one year on. Back on the Broads at an ABBA convention and still at each other's throats.

BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR

A serious and slightly disturbing one act play about post traumatic amnesia. An attempt to unmask a murderer or a search for redemption? What is behind the green door?

THE SWEETEST GIRL I KNOW

Part One was winner of the best new writing award at the Hunstanton Festival. A love story in two linked one act plays, spread over thirty years mixing real events and characters with an imagined and touching relationship between two people who are not what they seem.

BROTHERS AND SISTERS

Two more linked one act plays set on a 'Singles' cruise ship around the Norwegian fjords. 'Brothers In Arms', the story of fraternal love and dependence and 'Me And My Sister', a story of missed opportunities. Funny, sad and ultimately touching.

POP GOES THE WEASEL

A comedy crime thriller set in early 60s. Full of nursery rhymes, mistaken identities, drunken plotting and an early version of the Witness Protection Scheme!!

Forthcoming Titles:

WAITING FOR DOROTHY

An all female play set on a health farm where friendships and neuroses are teated and resolved alongside the seaweed wraps and macrobiotic smoothies.

TIME TO LET GO

A one act play about the difficult relationship between a father and a son. A haunting tale which is both funny and thought provoking, with a soundtrack to die for!

THE PERFUMED AIR

A modern ghost story (inspired by a song by The Boomtown Rats!) currently being written as a film screenplay